She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
