my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
