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she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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