a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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