ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
