I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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