i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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