Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize