Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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