I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
