I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
