Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
