dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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