Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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