O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
