he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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