So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
