sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
