I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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