ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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