Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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