My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
