her vagine was all disorganized.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
