a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
