it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
