How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Princesses don't give blow jobs
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You need Xanax blowdarts
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
