problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize