And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
