I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
