Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
