I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
