whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
