Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
