I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
