My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
