Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
