Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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