if you like me you must not know who I am
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
