I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
bring money and cleavage
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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