Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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