He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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