Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
