Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
