I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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