Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
