I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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