I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
