We're like a lot better than the average bears
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
