office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
