Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im just a social blackout drinker.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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