she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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