I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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