thus making me awesome and them whores
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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