Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
