I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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