this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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