literally had 100 drinks last night.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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