My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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