Only a mothe r could love this liver
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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