Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
