This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
