dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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