I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
