At least make sure they are 18
Why
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
